SBRAIN : a new computer algebra system.

CAPABILITIES : over 5 terms handled at once (maybe more).  

PIPING : Commands can be piped in through the medium of Electronic Aural
        Remote Sensors (EARS) and outputed direct to the Binary Integration
        Node (BIN).
HEADACHES : A unique attribute of this new algebra system.  Only the STENSOR
        manual also has this atribute!

MAKE YOUR OWN!! : Only 20 minutes work and 9 months later.....BINGO a paternity
        case is your's

VERSATILE : As well as computer algebra this system can solve complicated moral
        dilemmas, simulate anger, angst and pain, work out the riemann tensor
        in flat space, make acceptable omlettes, discuss Kant at parties, throw
        up at parties, attempt to make new SBRAINs at parties with random women,
        fuzzy logic, very fuzzy logic, downright bad logic and simulate HAL
        from 2001 (well at least the bit where he says "I don't think you should
        do that Dave").

CONSTANTLY DEGENERATING : Another feature shared by STENSOR!  This system
        reaches it's prime 15 years after installation and from then it's all
        downhill.  Rather like the VAX operating system only years rather than
        months

SELF DOCUMENTING : "Hey...you look like a nice girl.....wanna hear my life-
        story?" or "Trouble?..Don't talk to me about trouble!"

INCLUDES A PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE INTERFACE : This new language is a 
        breakthrough in programming style.  Major Constructs for SBRAIN are

        DO.....
        UNTIL BORED.

        WHILE YOU GIVE A TOSS
        DO....

        DO OSTENTATIOUSLY....
        UNTIL SHE SLEEPS WITH YOU

        FOR TASK = MOST_IMPORTANT TO LEAST_IMPORTANT
        PROCRASTINATE.

        REPEAT....
        UNTIL A WASTE OF TIME.

        CHAT UP
        UNTIL HUSBAND ARRIVES.

        WHILE NOT DRUNK
        DRINK.

        There are also the usual lisp-type predicates which can be applied
to any procedure of SBRAIN or data element of SBRAIN (they are self 
documenting (see above)

        AWAKEP
        DRUNKP (always non-NIL for good versions of the software)
        BULLSHITP
        FEDUPP
        BOREP (in many cases this test always returns TRUE)
        HORNYP (This predicate is infact NOT BOREP)
        

                THERE WILL BE A DEMONSTRATION OF SBRAIN
                =======================================

        there will be a demonstration of SBRAIN in action at a computer 
algebra center sometime in the next 10 years.  At least here's hoping.
Bring along your algebra problems.  Here is a sample session.
SB> so.....
USER> int(e^(-x^2),x);
SB> Oh not that hoary old chestnut.  Bloody hell!
USER> Ok then how about anti-commutivity?
SB> Not a chance mate.
USER> (x+y)^100;
SB> Do you really want to know?
USER> yes!
SB> Are you sure this isn't just some benchmark or something?
USER> Well yes
SB> Ok....the answer is (x+y)^100 (I did the factorisation before you asked
since you would have asked just after)
                (NOTE THE ARTIFICIAL INTELEGENCE HERE!!!)
USER> This is useless
SB> Yes..artificial sloth and laziness
USER> Fancy a drink.
SB> Sure thing.

SBRAIN.......Coming you way soon!